Babysitter
by Cody-kun
Summary: Sasuke is Naruto's babysitter; he has been for two years, and he's never found the kid anything less than annoying. But one day, after a hasty confession, everything changes. SasuNaru, YAOI, slight shota.


**This is what happens when I procrastinate. This was originally just going to be a oneshot and I suppose it could stand alone as such, but I'd really like to turn this into a story. I'm unsure of the details as of now, but I do want to write more for this.**

**Anyways.**

**WARNINGS: SHOTA, Pedophilia, oral sex, slash, etc. And I suppose this (legally) counts as molestation, though Naruto totally wanted it. **

**GOOD THINGS.**

**Don't like, don't read. **

**Thanks so much to my good friend Daelyn for proofreading this. c: I'm running on barely any sleep thanks to insomnia and I don't trust myself to catch errors right now. Oops. **

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Sasuke stood on the front porch of the Uzumaki-Namikaze house, grinding his teeth with agitation as he repeatedly rapped against the wooden door.

He hated wasting his time watching Naruto—there were plenty of better things he could do, after all—but he was forced to babysit him time and time again thanks to his own parents. It wasn't like he needed the money; his parents gave him all the money he needed. It was just to keep up appearances for the sake of press.

He groaned, resisting the urge to bolt off the porch as he waited for his knock to finally be answered, effectively sealing his fate for the remainder of this sunny afternoon. He gazed at the sky, sighing heavily at the thought of such a pretty day going to waste.

The kid was twelve, for Christ's sake! Did he _really_ still need a babysitter? Sasuke groaned quietly to himself. He could only take solace in the fact that the kid was nice to look at, but that was it. Naruto was by far the_ loudest,_ most _obnoxious_ child Sasuke ever had the displeasure of looking after, and he often wondered how the hell he'd managed to survive two steady years of watching the kid.

Muffled footfalls could be heard behind the door before it swung open, revealing a short boy with messy blonde hair and fiery blue eyes. He grinned at Sasuke and opened the door farther to let him through, bouncing slightly on the balls of his feet.

"Hey, Sasuke-teme," he said, closing and locking the door behind Sasuke, "long time no see!"

Sasuke kicked off his shoes, then lifted an eyebrow at the small, hyperactive blonde.

"You saw me last weekend, Dobe," he muttered, stepping into the living room. He was closely followed by Naruto, as per usual. The kid practically clung to him.

"Well, it's still been a long time," he pouted, gazing at Sasuke with blue eyes full of pure adoration. Sasuke nearly twitched.

"Where are your parents?" Sasuke asked, looking from side-to-side as he searched for the unfortunate owners of this spastic little kid.

"Oh, they already left," Naruto said, "about an hour ago."

"Yet you still need a babysitter?" Sasuke gritted, glaring at the little nuisance. Naruto shrugged then looked at the ground, almost as though he was embarrassed.

"They said I'm old enough to stay alone," he said, "but I really like hanging out with you."

Sasuke's eyes widened as he watched Naruto clasp his hands behind his back during his little explanation, blue eyes still firmly trained on the floor. He gulped as he watched a bright flush spread across Naruto's scarred cheeks, heating up his own stomach in a way that was more than mildly inconvenient at the moment, not to mention _weird._

The kid was fucking adorable.

Naruto dragged his eyes away from the floor and beamed at Sasuke, though his cheeks were still painted a rosy red.

"So can we play videogames, Sasuke-teme?" he asked, bouncing on his feet again. Sasuke felt a smirk curling the edge of his lips at the bigger grin breaking across Naruto's face after he nodded, agreeing to play whatever mindless, brain-melting, terribly violent game the little blonde would pick out.

Naruto grabbed his hand and dragged Sasuke upstairs to the game room, though the small, extended contact made Sasuke's entire body feel a little too warm. He willed away the strange feeling, convincing himself he was simply getting sick or something. That was the only possible explanation.

He plopped onto the couch as Naruto finally let go of his hand and hurried to the television—or more specifically, the stack of games next to it. He bent over just as Sasuke glanced up, and the raven felt his mouth go a little dry at the enjoyable view.

_He's got a nice ass..._

"Hey, Sasuke-teme!" Naruto said, looking over his shoulder. "Do you want this game, or this one?" He held up two equally terrible-looking videogames, both of which were definitely _not_ age appropriate. Sasuke shrugged nonchalantly, forcing himself to drag his eyes away from the tempting sight of Naruto's cargo-short covered ass.

"I'm fine with anything," he said, though his voice sounded a bit strange to his own ears. Naruto didn't seem to notice it, and nodded before kneeling and forcing the disc into his game system. He stood after this, dusting off the front of his shorts, then grabbed two controllers and joined Sasuke on the couch.

Sasuke's breath quickened just slightly as the little blonde sat right next to him and leaned against his chest, nuzzling his way under his arm and smiling cutely.

"I'm really glad you came over today," he said, handing Sasuke the extra controller. "I missed you."

Sasuke's heartbeat sped and he tried his hardest to smirk as he took the controller, though it was difficult with the way his body seemed to heat up more by the second. What was up with him today? This had never happened before. Something about Naruto's behavior was just so...cute, and it was, regrettably, turning Sasuke on, though he chose to ignore these unwelcome thoughts. It was the Dobe, the _brat_ for Christ's sake!

"M-Missed you too," he said, though he cursed himself for the small stutter in his voice. Naruto snuggled closer before pressing a couple of buttons on his controller, starting the game.

The game was something about killing zombies and the storyline was absolutely appalling, but the gameplay was decent. Naruto and Sasuke killed hordes of the undead together until, quite suddenly, Naruto paused the game and threw his controller aside. Sasuke lifted an eyebrow, his own controller still in hand, before Naruto gingerly took it from his grasp and tossed it next to his own.

"I have to tell you something," he said, turning to face Sasuke completely. "It's really important."

Something about the blonde's tone captured Sasuke's attention immediately, and he nodded for him to continue, one dark brow quirked in interest.

"W-Well..." Naruto sighed, furrowing his blonde eyebrows together as he searched for the right words to say, his cheeks flushing just the smallest bit. Sasuke couldn't help but find Naruto's obvious embarrassment endearing, though he promptly cursed himself for the thought.

"I...I like you," Naruto said with a small gulp. He dragged his eyes away from Sasuke to stare at his hands. "I...I think you're really cool. And—And cute."

Sasuke's eyebrows shot up and his eyes widened. Was Naruto..._confessing?_

"You probably think I'm weird," Naruto said in a single rushed breath, "but I've felt this way since I was eleven and I—and I just wanted to tell you—"

"You have a crush on me?" Sasuke asked, unable to keep the amusement out of his voice. Naruto, still staring at his hands, nodded sheepishly. His cheeks darkened even further and he shifted a bit.

"Y-Yeah," he said. "I know you probably think it's weird because we're...because we're both boys, bu—"

Sasuke inched a little closer, and tilted Naruto's chin up with his index finger. At first, the blonde wouldn't meet his gaze, but eventually, wide, blue eyes shifted to meet burning onyx, and he gulped.

"You're so cute," Sasuke murmured, the words spilling past his lips before he had a chance to choke them down. Suddenly, all his dislike for the little blonde demon seemed to have abandoned him. Now all he saw was this adorable, blushing little creature who'd apparently been harboring a huge crush on him for the past year. No wonder Naruto was acting so cuddly and _cute_ today; he must have been trying to warm up Sasuke to the idea of his little crush.

"Cu—Cute?" Naruto squeaked, eyes widening and cheeks burning hotter as Sasuke's arms wound around him tightly.

Or not.

"Yes. Adorable, actually," Sasuke purred right into his ear. Naruto shivered, his smaller arms moving to wrap around Sasuke and hold him close.

"I-I thought you didn't like me," he said, which only earned him a throaty chuckle from Sasuke.

"I'll admit you're a little too hyper and a bit obnoxious, but loveable."

Naruto pouted at being called obnoxious, but then his eyes widened as the last word sunk in.

_Loveable?_

"But you aren't like me, are you?" Naruto asked, trembling just the slightest bit as he felt _something_ tug on his earlobe almost experimentally. "You l—like girls, d-don't you?

"Hm...should we find out?" Sasuke rasped, his hot breath shooting shivers down Naruto's spine.

"I—Ah!" Naruto whimpered quietly as something wet traced the shell of his ear before his earlobe was tugged again, this time a little more harshly. He felt goosebumps popping up all over his body, but he loved the tingly way he felt, though it was a little weird.

Sasuke couldn't remember the last time he felt so...turned on. Granted, this was a _kid—_Naruto, no less—but his cuteness, innocence...just _everything_ was enough to set Sasuke's arousal aflame. He'd been trying to fight it since he first stepped through the door, but he couldn't anymore. He_ wanted_ Naruto, and apparently Naruto wanted him too. Where was the harm in that?

He pulled back, a lusty smirk playing on his lips as he gazed at the red-faced, shivering little blonde. His normally wide blue eyes were heavy and glassy as he returned Sasuke's gaze, and his breath came heavy.

"Has anyone ever touched you before?" Sasuke asked.

"T-Touched?"

"Like..." Sasuke took a chance with this. "Here?" He cupped Naruto's crotch, applying the slightest bit of pressure, and chuckled quietly as Naruto's eyes widened and his face grew impossibly redder. He shook his head slowly, gasping as Sasuke palmed him carefully.

"No, never—"

"Have _you_ ever touched yourself?"

Naruto gulped, his eyes darting to the floor, then nodded. Sasuke's own cock pulsed in his jeans as he imagined the cute kid playing with himself, moaning shamelessly... Sasuke couldn't suppress his shiver.

"What do you think about?" Sasuke asked, smirking as he rubbed Naruto a little harder. The blonde bucked his hips just the slightest bit with a tiny moan.

"I—I think of...of..."

"Is it _me?"_

Naruto shut his eyes tight and nodded, his humiliation multiplying by the second. Sasuke sunk his teeth into his bottom lip as his cock jumped. If that wasn't hot, he didn't know what was.

"What do you imagine me doing?"

"R-Rubbing me...u-under my pants," he barely whispered it, moaning quietly when Sasuke increased the pressure yet again. Sasuke could feel hardness steadily rising underneath the pressure of his palm, causing his own breath to come shallow. Then he removed his hand.

"Then why don't you take off your pants, Naruto? For me?"

Naruto cracked his cloudy cerulean eyes and nodded almost mechanically, then stood to his feet, though he was slightly wobbly. With shaky hands he unbuttoned and unzipped his pants slowly, obviously nervous, before letting them drop to the floor. He then averted his eyes and kicked his pants away, shifting cutely on his feet as he struggled to not meet Sasuke's eyes.

"Your boxers too," Sasuke smirked, the corners of his lips twitching as he watched Naruto's bashful reluctance. With a small, shy nod, Naruto slowly shimmied his boxers over his hips and let them pool on the floor.

Sasuke's dick hardened completely and his mouth watered as soon as he saw the blonde's cock standing straight up, a delicious stream of pre-cum flowing from the head and dribbling down his rigid shaft.

"Will you take off your shirt?" Sasuke rasped, wanting nothing more than to see Naruto completely bare before he pleasured him. Naruto nodded and—a little faster than before—lifted his shirt over his head and tossed it away. He dragged his wide blue eyes to Sasuke and smiled the best he could, though his small heart thudded in his chest the longer Sasuke stared at him.

"W...Will you take off your clothes, too? Please?"

Sasuke quickly nodded, not even giving it a second thought, then slipped his black shirt over his head while he stood. He threw it aside then got to work on his pants, his hands shaking just slightly as he struggled with his overlapping belts before popping the numerous buttons and pushing them over his hips. Once they pooled on the floor he stepped out of them, hissing quietly as his cock was exposed to the cool air of the room.

Naruto's lips parted with a short, quiet gasp.

"I-It's so big!" he said, taking a careful step closer. Sasuke smirked, though his cock twitched violently at the blonde's little compliment.

"Come closer," he said, motioning for the blonde to approach him. Nodding slowly, Naruto crossed the small distance between them and gazed up at Sasuke, his cheeks red but expression resolute. He couldn't remember ever feeling so..._happy._ Did this mean that Sasuke liked him back?

Without another word, Sasuke reached down and stroked Naruto's bare, wet cock, shivering at the feeling of it pulsing like crazy in his hand as he carefully twisted his palm around the heated flesh. Naruto gasped loudly, pressing his weight against Sasuke for support as he stroked him _perfectly;_ little shivers shot up and down his spine, forcing small moans past his open lips with every intentional flick of Sasuke's hand.

"Sasuke!" he cried, rolling his hips. Sasuke smirked lustfully, more than a little pleased by Naruto's reaction and that he'd finally dropped the "-teme." It really was a horrible nickname, though Sasuke had grown to accept it.

"Do you like that?" he asked, his voice dripping raw lust for the cute boy. Naruto nodded fervently before gazing up at Sasuke, his little pink lips parted and eyes barely open as Sasuke touched him just like he'd fantasized. But there was another part of his fantasy he didn't tell Sasuke about...

Before he had a chance to change his mind, Naruto reached down and grasped Sasuke's hard cock, trying to stroke it the same way he would his own though it was much bigger.

Sasuke couldn't choke back the loud moan building in his throat at the unexpected attention to his dripping cock, and rolled his hips, trying to urge Naruto along. He sped up his ministrations on Naruto's length, smirking when this elicited the breathiest little moan, before pulling back and tugging Naruto with him to the couch so they could get more comfortable. As he sat down, the blonde fell onto his lap, straddling him and pressing their cocks flush together, and Sasuke smiled lustfully. He reached around and threaded his fingers through Naruto's golden hair, running it through his fingers a bit and enjoying the surprising softness, before pushing his head closer and lightly connecting their lips.

Naruto's eyes widened in shock at the contact, and his stomach flipped over and over again as Sasuke gently kneaded their lips together, his eyes shut tight. Eventually, the blonde warmed up to the kiss and let his eyes slip shut, enjoying the feeling of Sasuke's warm, soft lips pressed against his own. He looped his thin arms around Sasuke's neck, trying to deepen the light pressure, and moved his lips the best he could. This was his first time ever kissing anyone, so he could only hope he was doing it right; he was really scared of disappointing Sasuke.

While slowly stroking their cocks together with his other hand, Sasuke flicked his tongue out quickly, sliding it across Naruto's bottom lip. Naruto's brow furrowed but he opened his mouth, since he figured that was what Sasuke wanted, but he squeaked in surprise when he felt Sasuke's tongue dive inside. Instead of pulling away, however, he tried to poke at Sasuke's tongue with his own, though he was more than confused when he felt something strange and hard clanking against his teeth as their kiss got hungrier. He pulled away, panting slightly, his expression betraying how baffled he was at the object's presence.

With a small smirk, Sasuke stuck out his tongue, showing off his black tongue ring.

"Oh," Naruto said, feeling a little dumb; he'd forgotten all about Sasuke's piercing, though he'd had it since his eighteenth birthday a couple of months ago. Sasuke flicked his tongue over Naruto's nose, deepening the already crimson blush staining his cheeks, then grinned.

"Hey, Naruto," Sasuke practically purred, the words rolling off his tongue so smoothly it made Naruto visibly shiver, "would you like to feel what I can do with this little piercing?"

Naruto's eyes widened hugely and he nodded shakily, curious as to what Sasuke could do with that black barbell.

Sasuke gently pushed Naruto off his lap and onto the couch, then quickly crawled on top of him, looming over the smaller body. He kissed him one last time before moving down farther, peppering open-mouthed kisses down his chest until he reached a pert nipple. Smiling up at Naruto, Sasuke flicked his tongue over the nub, pleased with the breathy gasp he earned before continuing his journey down the small, underdeveloped body. Sasuke couldn't help but think it was wrong for them to do this—the kid was six years younger and obviously naive—but he didn't want to stop, not until Naruto screamed his name and shot his hot cum into Sasuke's eager mouth.

Sasuke trembled at the thought.

After a bit more nipping, a bit more _tasting,_ he reached Naruto's heavily-leaking, twitching dick.

He wrapped his hand around Naruto's cock, shivering again as it jumped under his touch, and jerked him slowly. Sasuke smiled at the high-pitched whine and small buck of Naruto's hips he earned, but soon decided he wanted to hear much,_ much_ more. Without a single word of warning, Sasuke leaned forward, dragging his tongue up Naruto's twitching shaft before swirling his tongue around the head, poking his piercing into the slit and moaning quietly at Naruto's outright scream.

"You like that?" Sasuke chuckled huskily before returning to lapping at the slippery head of Naruto's cock while twisting his hand around the shaft. Naruto whimpered and thrashed, too lost in pleasure to give an intelligible answer.

"Sa—Sasuke!" Naruto moaned, humping upwards and gripping the couch cushions, just trying to get Sasuke to take more of him. He'd never felt anything like this before; touching himself couldn't even begin to compare to the feeling of Sasuke's _tongue_ on his cock.

After moving his hand away, Sasuke slowly eased Naruto's dick into his mouth, not pausing until his nose touched his tan and _hairless_ lower stomach. As he pulled back he slid his pierced tongue along the underside of Naruto's cock, moving as slowly as possible to multiply his pleasure. Naruto trembled uncontrollably, his hips jerking against his will as Sasuke teased him in the best possible way.

Naruto screamed when Sasuke tantalized the head of his dick again, his hands practically flying from the cushions to yank at Sasuke's hair as his hips bucked, but Sasuke took it with ease. Hell, it wasn't like the kid was _that_ big, anyway, plus Sasuke had plenty of experience—though, he had to say this was the most fun he'd ever had sucking someone off. Naruto's pleasured noises were possibly the best thing he ever heard before in his life.

Sasuke continued to bob his head as Naruto frantically bucked his hips and practically yanked out his hair, but soon found his own throbbing,_ dripping_ cock was too much to ignore any longer. He trailed a hand down and wrapped it around his dick, stroking clumsily due to the jarring of his entire body when Naruto thrust too hard, but it was definitely better than nothing. He moaned as he rubbed his thumb over the head of his own erection—feeling how wet all of this had made him—though the action sent little vibrations down Naruto's shaft and caused him to scream his loudest yet.

Naruto jerked helplessly as a pleasure he never even imagined coiled in his stomach, but he cracked his eyes that had slipped shut open to see what made Sasuke moan. He whimpered loudly as he saw the raven touching himself, and tugged on his hair harshly, trying to pull him away from his cock before he exploded.

Sasuke shot him an annoyed look, his own hand stilling on his cock as he was forced to stop.

"What the fuck?" he asked, though his tone was more confused than angry.

Blushing hugely, Naruto stared at the ceiling and sucked his bottom lip into his mouth, nibbling on it lightly.

"I don't want you to have to take care of yourself," he barely whispered. Sasuke's eyes widened and his arousal tripled, if that was even possible. His heart thudded in his chest as he imagined Naruto's plush lips stretched around his cock, every unsure flick of his inexperienced tongue...

"You wanna suck my cock, too?"

Naruto squeaked a little as Sasuke shifted and kissed him suddenly, more roughly than before, but Naruto liked it just as much. He knew he'd like Sasuke's kisses no matter how rough they were. When Sasuke finally pulled away, he smiled, pressing a kiss on the tip of Naruto's nose. It was uncharacteristic, yes, but Naruto was just so cute he couldn't resist.

"Do you know what it means to '69'?" he asked. Naruto's eyes widened, but he nodded.

"I-It was in a magazine..." he mumbled. Sasuke smirked.

"Aren't you a little too young to be looking at things like that? Naughty, naughty." Sasuke's breath puffed over Naruto's ear again, sending that same pleasurable chill through his entire body and reawakening his goosebumps.

Without saying another word—he'd obviously said enough—Sasuke turned around completely, his legs on either side of Naruto's head, leaving his engorged cock level with his lips and the blonde's level with his own. He threw a lusty smirk over his shoulder.

"Just lick it, suck on it...whatever you think will feel good." Sasuke wasn't expecting much, but if the kid wanted to, he wasn't going to stop him.

Naruto nodded, his stomach heating up hotter as he tentatively flicked his tongue over the head of Sasuke's dick. Sasuke inhaled sharply; that'd felt a _lot_ better than he expected. When Naruto repeated the action he couldn't help but thrust down, which soon reminded him of a flaw this position possessed: the person on the bottom was going to _gag._

"Hey, Naruto?" he said, moaning lightly as Naruto lapped not once, but _three_ times in a row at his painfully hard cock. "Would you mind switching positions with me?"

"Su-Sure?"

Unable to help himself, Naruto licked Sasuke's dick one more time before he moved away, internally smirking when Sasuke moaned quietly. The raven then stood, his legs slightly shaky as he waited for Naruto to stand as well. Once he did, Sasuke lay back on the couch, Naruto following suit. He tried to position himself the same way Sasuke had just been, and didn't waste another second before wrapping his plush lips around the slippery tip of Sasuke's cock with a hard suck. Sasuke's hips jerked harshly, though Naruto was able to shift away before he gagged thanks to his position on top.

"S-Sorry," Sasuke panted, though he soon gripped Naruto's ass, forcing his delicious cock back into his mouth and smirking around it when Naruto yelped. He brought Naruto's hips down rhythmically, though Naruto helped him along, and moaned as the blonde took his own cock up in his mouth—which, in turn, earned a moan from Naruto that vibrated around his own cock.

Sasuke's hips thrust a bit too hard a couple of times, but luckily Naruto quickly decided that holding his hips down was a good idea, thus saving himself from a very sore throat after all the fun was over. He couldn't take much of Sasuke's cock, seeing as his mouth was still small, but he more than made up for that with how enthusiastically he sucked on what he could fit.

Naruto moaned shamelessly, drooling around the tasty treat in his mouth but not minding the slightest bit as Sasuke gave his own pulsing cock the same treatment. Naruto soon came to the conclusion that he _really_ liked what that tongue ring could do, or maybe it was just Sasuke's mouth; the bottom line was he never knew he could feel so incredibly_ good._

As their thrusting and sucking continued, Naruto felt his stomach heat up even more than before, and his cock twitched like crazy as a tight coil wound up inside him, just waiting to explode. Suddenly he felt something pressuring lightly and rubbing against his hole, and though it surprised him a good bit, it mostly felt really, really good, as odd as it was to him. He mewled as loud as he could around Sasuke's cock, thrusting down harder into the raven's mouth as the coil suddenly burst, flooding Sasuke's mouth with his hot cum.

Sasuke moaned in bliss, drinking up every drop of Naruto's sweet cum as it filled his mouth to the brim—some even managed to slip out the side of his lips because there was so _much_ of it. As Naruto's body spasmed from the scorching euphoria he felt, he pulled away from Sasuke's cock, gasping and moaning his pleasure over and over again as his hips rolled and Sasuke sucked him dry.

"Sasuke," he moaned, hazy eyes barely open. "Ahhnn...Sasuke..."

Sasuke's own cock twitched sporadically as the last of Naruto's cum trickled down his throat. After rubbing the twitching little hole he so badly wanted to fuck one last time, he pulled away from Naruto's cock, gasping as air filled his starved lungs.

Naruto still jerked with tiny aftershocks, but after a couple of seconds he remembered that Sasuke hadn't cum yet, and reattached his lips to the dripping cock in front of him with much more vigor than before. He'd just felt so amazing and all he wanted to do was thank Sasuke the best he knew how. He sucked as hard as he could, then brought his hands to play as well, stroking what he couldn't fit of Sasuke's cock and fondling his balls as he tried to push him over that one lofty peak.

"O—Oh fuck, Naruto!" Sasuke's eyes squeezed shut as burning pleasure swept over him in a single, blinding wave, causing him to moan so loud his throat hurt as his cock pumped rope after rope of cum into Naruto's eager mouth. The blonde mewled happily when he tasted Sasuke's pleasure, his tummy fluttering as Sasuke repeated his name over and over again along with a few indecipherable obscenities.

Once it seemed like his cock was fully spent, Naruto pulled away, licking his lips as he savored the special taste. He quickly moved, though he was a little unsteady, until his face was level with Sasuke's, wanting nothing more than to see what he did to him. The raven's chest rose and fell quickly, his eyes barely open as he smirked lazily at the cute little blonde curling up on his chest.

"Did I do okay?" Naruto asked, bright azure eyes wide and curious as he stared into Sasuke's tired, deep grey eyes.

Sasuke nodded then kissed Naruto quickly, though he soon collapsed back down. His energy was completely zapped.

"Best I've ever felt in my life," he panted. Naruto beamed, then cuddled his head to Sasuke's chest.

"So..." he cleared his throat, snuggling closer. "Does this mean...maybe...we can be b—boyfriends now?"

Sasuke's heavy eyes widened and his heartbeat sped.

_Boyfriends?_

Then he smiled, wrapping his arms around the small, warm body as his chest flooded with overwhelming warmth.

"Sure," he said. "I'd like that."

* * *

**While I was writing this I made a mistake that I didn't notice until a few minutes later:**

**'Naruto didn't seem to notice it and nodded before kneeling and forcing the _dick_ into his game system.'**

**And that, children, is when you know you write too much porn.**

**Thanks so much for reading! Reviews are very much appreciated, as well as follows and favorites.**

** AND IF ANYONE FLAMES THIS SO HELP ME GOD I WILL CLAW YOUR EYES OUT AND MAKE YOU EAT THEM.**


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